Hitting the mark

Dear Baby,

It's been quite a week. We had a bit of an early labor scare with you on Sunday and had to stay in the hospital for a little while to get the clear. My belly is already so big, and here I sit at only 32 weeks pregnant. I can't bend over, or hardly walk. I can't breathe, or really do much of anything. I have officially hit the miserable stage of life. Though everyday my back hurts I wish I could just be rid of the pain and exhaustion, I fight for everyday to keep you in and growing and healthy.

My doctor scheduled a C-section for me on October 21st, but we both agreed that we doubted we would ever see that day. She thinks, as I do, that we will be lucky if I make it to 36 weeks. Now baby, at 36 weeks it till be September 29th. That is your Aunt Kate's birthday. Try not to come on that day so you don't have to share a birthday cake with her- trust me it's no fun.

But what is scary is that 36 weeks is actually close enough to be on my calendar. It is a dizzying reality that you could actually be in my arms, cooing, crying, snuggling with me in just a few short weeks. Maybe even less, who even knows. But I am aiming for that 36 week mark so that your lungs can fully develop and you can get some meat on your bones. It's on my calendar baby, I am GOING to make it !

Lovingly your Mama

Nursery update

Dear Baby,

I am slow in posting pictures of your nursery, but I wanted you to know that I have NOT been slow in getting it ready. I have absolutely thrown myself into the land of pink this month. Doing projects, and putting friends and family to work. Everyone has been in on it, it seems. Your nursery is definitely the product of many sets of hands. I thought I'd give you a sneak peak at what we've been up to:So first off are your curtains. I picked out the fabric and got your lovely Aunt Lauren to sew them. They turned out so nice!Next was the bumper. I ended up picking out some pink and green striped fabric to accent it, and once again your Aunt Lauren really worked her magic on it. I think it goes so well with the stripes and the big pink wall.Ofcourse your daddy got in on things as well. He decided that you needed a shelf to put all your hair things on, so he went to the hardware store and got you one. He felt really good about putting some work into your room. I think all the pink intimidates him though..Just this weekend your grandparents came up and offered to help us put the chandelier up. I bought this chandelier sometime ago. Mostly because I always wanted one when I was a little girl. But it turns out that it was much more complicated to put up then I thought, so we needed some expert advice. They lovingly put it up for you baby. Then I made the backboard for your wall. I was originally going to make it a pushpin board, but opted to use the remainder of the fabric to be a backboard for your hairstation. It turned out pretty well I think.And here are the baskets I made for your station. I really think it turned out nicely.

Well that's it for now my love. It's not completely finished yet, and we still have clothes to put in your drawers, but I think we've made quite a dent in it!

Love, Mama

Everything Hurts

Dear Baby,

I'm not trying to complain, but as I hit the 31 week mark today I am really feeling crummy. Every muscle in my stomach is stretched to the limit- the stretchmarks have once again appeared just to emphasize that. My back is killing me, and I cannot ever seem to get comfortable. To top it all off, it's been 108 degrees outside all week. Mostly, I just want to be naked all day and I truly wish that were possible.

The thing that makes all these aches and pains tolerable is the thought of you coming into the world. I cannot possibly imagine what you will look like, which keeps me in suspense. I wonder if you will have blue eyes like your brothers, or if you will have brown eyes like your daddy. Will you have those big eyelashes the Warkentin children are famous for? Will you have my nose? These things are still a mystery to me and I cannot wait to find out who you are. I just have to get past all the aches and pains until then :)

I love you baby.
Love, Mama

Prepare Ye The Way

Dear Baby,

Your baby countdown says there are 66 days left until you come. But somehow, I feel like that is going to fly by. I can remember the countdown to my wedding, and after it went under 100 days, everything seemed to come at me at once.

So today, I ignored the piles of laundry in my house. I stepped over all the little cracker crumbs your brother's scattered on the floor. And I spent some time getting ready for you. I cleaned out Noah's drawers, and took all the boxes of baby clothes out of the garage. I sorted through them and found a bunch of things to give away to people- you can't wear blue clothes!

I made a few more bows and flowers for your hair, and I organized your room some more. Then a package came in the mail today- it was your pink fleece carseat cover which I have been waiting for. So I took out your carseat and had Elijah help me clean it out. He scrubbed it, and talked all about you and when you're coming. He kept saying "Mama, O-wee-a's seat!". We finally put your carseat cover on your seat and put it in the van. That's one less thing your daddy has to panic about when we're in the hospital.

Elijah is excited about you. He keeps pointing to my belly and telling me all about you. He loves to sing to you and talk to you. I think you're going to love Elijah. Noah doesn't really understand that you're coming, but he got excited when we got the carseat all ready. He'll learn soon enough.

I just wanted you to know that we're getting ready for you. That we're planning for you, and that we're so excited to meet you Olivia!

Love, Mama

And....mood swing

Dear Baby,

It's almost midnight and I can't sleep. I have been a hormonal mess all weekend, and I can't sleep because I am so sad, and angry, and deliriously happy all at the same time. I don't think I have ever felt this way in my life. It is the most confusing thing, and to even write to you about it now, I hardly can find the words to say about it. I am constantly crying, and overwhelmed and tired. But at the same time I'm energized, and ready to take on 48 projects, and making all kinds of plans. It is the most strange, bizarre, and upside down kind of way of living. I feel like an insane person. And yet, I am told, it's pretty normal.

It doesn't feel normal baby. Though I feel certifiably nuts right now, it is of some comfort to me that it's probably because there are high amounts of estrogen, extra estrogen, flowing through me. And that makes me smile. Because it means that pretty soon a little girl will be in my arms. A little girl I have waited for so long to have. Oh the thought of pink sends me right back to my happy place.

Baby, I love you but you make me crazy :)

A letter to doctors who don't know anything....

Dear Mr. Braxton and Mr. Hicks,

I would like to address this letter especially to you today, as you seem to be popping up in my life regularily. I am not sure exactly what made you think that as men, men who have not given birth nor have ever experienced the pain of labor, you could categorize early contractions.

The term "slight discomfort" or "a tightening of your uterus" is grossly understated and I feel it is my duty to set you two straight. When your body hurts so bad you have to bite on something to keep from screaming and waking your children, that is more than slight discomfort. When you cannot move, breathe, or even think of anything but horrific pain, that's a little more than a tightening of your uterus.

Ofcourse, silly me, maybe I'm just overexaggerating things. Afterall, I've only had 3 babies! Grrr.... Braxton. Grrr.... Hicks, I hope that there is a swarm of angry, and very pregnant mothers who have come to beat you to death.

Sincerely,

Erin Kaye Warkentin

28 weeks... and growing

Dear Baby,

I'm 28 weeks pregnant with you. I have now officially entered my third trimester, and the most uncomfortable period of pregnancy. I have aches and pains all day from your growing body. My back is almost in a permanent state of ouch. My stomach is being stretched like bubble gum, and feels like I've done about 300 sit ups. I am sore, I am tired, and I am really really hot, since it's about 100 plus degrees here most days.

Your brothers and I have been living in the air conditioned house that your daddy has so graciously given me. Most days I lay pantless underneath the air vent. Your poor brothers are going stir crazy and I feel terrible about that. But I keep telling myself that keeping you healthy and inside my body is just more important right now. We manage.

Most days I don't notice how enormous I have become, until I go to church. This last week I got 3 seperate comments about how big I was, and that I must be due anyday. Your nana keeps telling me I must be having twins. It really does wonders to one's self-esteem. But secretly, it just makes me nervous that you're going to come sooner than planned.

So I'm springing to action, coming up with back-up plans, sorting through your clothes, finishing up things on your nursery, and giving your daddy extra projects. I want to be sure that we're ready for you, even if you surprise us and come early.

Until then, I am here, with my ever-growing belly just trying to enjoy the very last time I will ever be pregnant, the very last time my body will ever look like this again. Which kind of makes it a little bittersweet. And then my back spasms and I remember that it's not quite so wonderful, but certainly worth it.

I love you sweet baby.... even when you break me.

Love, Mama