Friday, April 30, 2010

A sonogram dream

Dear Baby,

Being pregnant with you makes me have very strange dreams. Last night was no exception. I drempt that while pregnant with you, a woman having twins wanted us to adopt them. We were skeptical about the adoption but wanted more information.

So we all went into the sonogram room and were waiting to see if our babies were boys or girls. She went first, and learned she was having twin girls. Then we went in and found out we were having a boy. We realized that we loved you so much that we didn't want those other babies, we just wanted you.

I just wanted you to know, that no matter what we find out you are, I wouldn't trade you for all the girls people could throw at me....not even in my dreams.


Thursday, April 29, 2010

The Black Plague

Dear Baby,

I love you.

Do you know how I know ? Because you have made me throw up 11 times today (yes I counted) and I still love you. You will not let me keep any kind of food down. There is nothing all day or all night that you will accept and be at peace with eating, but still I love you.

One day when you're a teenager you might just be mad at me and question my love for you. When you do, I would like to direct you to this blog so you can see beyond a doubt that though you plague my body and though I am absolutely miserable it's because.... I love you.

Love, Mama

Monday, April 19, 2010

My little Beckham

Dear Baby,

I am almost 13 weeks pregnant with you and am so happy I am leaving the danger zone of pregnancy. Though you are just a tiny little thing, you have been making your presence known more and more. I started feeling your tiny kicks last week. At first, I thought I was being ridiculous, I mean how could I feel you kick when you are so small? But as the week has progressed, you are such a mover and shaker that I know for SURE that it's you kicking me in there. You've also been kicking my bladder a lot, I cannot believe how fast I am noticing this time.

You are full of energy but I can't help but smile everytime I feel your tiny nudge. Baby it is a feeling like no other feeling on earth. To feel that tiny kick inside your body, is really indescribably happy. Even when I'm NOT pregnant, I often feel phantom kicks and it almost makes me sad. So this time, I am going to treasure every kick, every movement. It is such a wonderful feeling and a way to get to know you better, even though I can't snuggle with you.

I love you so much baby.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

The big scare

Dear Baby,

This week you gave us quite a scare. It's been a challenging couple of weeks just trying to wrap our brains around having 3 kids. It's a big commitment, a scary commitment. One we weren't sure we were ready for.

But on Sunday, when I woke up with horrible cramping and blood, all of our doubt left. All I could think of was you baby. How I hadn't even gotten a chance to feel your tiny kicks, or get to know you in my womb. How I would never know if you were a boy or a girl, or get to know your great personality and laugh at all your funny antics.

At that moment, your daddy looked at me with such fear. He was absolutely terrified, and I knew right then and there that we had been ready for you all along, we were just nervous.

We missed Easter Sunday service, and worried all day. We sat in the ER for 7 hours on Good Monday as we waited to hear if you were safe. It was truly a terrifying few days for us. When I finally got in, they put a monitor on my tummy and I watched as your heart not only was beating, but it was racing. I watched for small movement, and instead saw you swimming all over the place doing backflips inside me.

Baby we don't yet know you very well. We haven't had very much of a chance to get acquainted. But we love you very very much. We cherish every little heart flutter, and tiny kick we see on the monitor. You are absolutely loved baby, and really really wanted.

Thank you for being strong and a fighter (you're my baby ofcourse you're a fighter!) And thank you for hanging on so that we can meet you.