5 weeks

Dear Baby,

At 5 weeks old, you have become very alert. After each feeding you enjoy looking lovingly into our eyes and interacting with us. Ofcourse, not much comes of it but blowing bubbles and cooeing, but we'll take what we can get. You eat very well, and don't have any trouble on that front. You went through a stage where you were constantly fussy with gas, but you're thankfully not as fussy anymore and we are happy about that. You are generally a happy baby.

You love listening to your brothers play around you, and responds with a few smiles every now and then for mommy when I talk to you. You are already a princess though, still insisting on being rocked to sleep and, most nights, needing to be held all night. With the boys we were much more strict about getting them into a schedule and teaching them to fall asleep on their own. I don't know if it's because you're the baby, or because you're our girl but we have bent the rules a teeny bit on that one. You LIVE for your bouncy seat. And can often be found vibrating away in that thing.

You have thick black hair that is already starting to be curly. I originally thought after 2 or so weeks you would be bald, but I am pleasantly surprised at how much hair you continue to have. Not only on the back of your head, but in the front as well. You have a really pretty shaped hairline in the front and the back of your hair is already growing so much that it practically covers the hairbands we put in. I am interested to see if you keep it, or if it eventually thins out. You also have very dark eyes. The boys both had blue from the get-go, so this dark eye thing is new to us. There is a small ring of blue that remains around the outer rim of your eye, but the rest is a dark, very nearly brown color. I'm really liking this black hair brown eye thing. It's such a contrast to the other babies.
The boys LOVE you. Everytime they hear you cry they come and get me. I love as Noah peers over her crib and says, "Hiiiiii baby!". Elijah likes to tell me all about how the baby is up and "mama the baby pooped. She pooped a wawt." He also loves to hold you any chance he gets and touches your head and holds your hand. He says, "mama, baby has weewy tiny hands". Noah has taken to blowing you kisses. And kisses your head anytime you're in your bouncy seat. They have settled in nicely to the familiarity of your cries and are not bothered by them.

We love you sweet girl, and are so happy you're a part of our family!

3 weeks old

Dear Baby,

You are 3 weeks old today, and I already am starting to forget what life was ever like without you. What was the world like without those sweet lips, or that tiny bottom? I stay up most nights while quietly feeding you and I memorize every inch of that precious angel face.

I thank the Lord each night for you as I stroke that long black hair. And I wonder, where did you get that hair? I look at your eyes and watch them get darker and darker each day. I am so amazed by how dazzling those chocolate brown eyes are becoming. I pray over you while you eat and ask that He take care of you, that He watch you breathe in and out each night so that I can sleep and not worry. But mostly, I talk to the Lord about who you will become.

These are sleepless times right now, but they are sweet times. Times that I will forever remember. I will never forget how you cooed when I sang a Nichole Nordeman song to you or how precious your tiny cry is, almost a deep raspy cry. Excellent for jazz I think.

Oh my love, I adore you...even when you won't let me sleep.

Love, your mama.

A monumental day

Dear Baby,

You were born.

There are no words to describe how I feel about you, how content I am, how totally happy my life is with you in it. I thought I would be sad that this was my last baby, that I would no longer feel a baby growing inside me. Instead I feel such joy such complete happiness because I got you. I will never forget this feeling, not as long as I live.

Olivia Violet Cosette Warkentin the world is a better place with you in it.

Love,

Your mama

Saying Goodbye to the belly

Dear Baby,

I just realized that today is the very last day I will ever be pregnant again. That is a bittersweet thought. It's been quite difficult this time around, and keeping you in for so long has had it's challenges. But when I think that I will never mold my hand to the shape of my round belly again it makes me a little....sad.

But the sadness is overridden by the fact that this is also the very last day that I will ever wonder what your sweet angel face looks like, or if you'll have your daddy's eyelashes. You see Olivia, it is the very last day that I will ever NOT know what life is like without you in it.

My sweet sweet baby love, how I have loved carrying you inside me. I have cherished every movement, kick, and hiccup. I have grown so in love with you already and I've never even met you. And even though I will miss the feel of you kicking my ribcage at an appropriate time in a movie or song, as if we share our own private little joke, I know that I will love far more to smell your sweet breath and kiss your precious cheeks.

So goodbye round belly. Goodbye waddle. Goodbye cute bump beneath my shirt. I want my baby girl instead!

Love forever and ever,

Mama

A little belly painting

Dear Baby,

It's a full moon out tonight. They say babies are born during full moons because of the moon's gravitational pull. So we've been waiting, but while we were waiting we got bored. So we decided to make the big heaping mass that is my belly a little more festive looking. This is what we came up with. Hey, don't persecute us... you're taking your sweet time. What else were we supposed to do?

Love,
Mama

The big wait

Dear Baby,

There are just 4 days until you arrive on the planet. I have to say, these might just be the longest 4 days of my life. I am just crawling out of my skin in anticipation. I'm too big to do anything fun to pass the time. I get winded just walking to get the mail. There is no position that is comfortable to sleep in. And you have decided to make my tailbone your permanent residence, which I have to say makes you a big pain in the butt :)

Ofcourse, occasionally you decide to leave my tailbone and to plant yourself in my ribcage- equally as fun. Sometimes you take your little toes and wrinkle them against the side of my ribs. It feels like a kind of hurt/tickle that I can't explain. And I'm almost positive that when you come out, we will see you wrinkle your toes in that same little way and a part of me will have that phantom pain in my ribcage.

I have now officially become 39 weeks pregnant, and you hold the record my dear for the longest amount of time I have ever been pregnant. Elijah was born when I was exactly 39 weeks, you have exceeded him. And to think, we were so afraid you would come dangerously early. You continue to amaze me as your growth has also exceeded all expectations. My stomach is the biggest it's EVER been. Just yesterday I had to adjust the seat in the car so I could drive. I had driven the DAY BEFORE. It's amazing that you grew that much in a day.

I am trying to take in the last few days that I will ever be pregnant. I hold my belly every chance I get, though now it stretches the length of my arms.I am trying to remember every kick, every movement. I am cuddling you on the outside until I can cuddle you on the inside.

Just some thoughts about you my love, and our last few days together just you and me. I will always remember this pregnancy. It's been one of the most challenging roller coaster rides ever but it's also been amazing having this time to bond with you. I know how excited I am for you to come out of me, but I also know that all-too-soon you will be sitting in my lap, and I will miss the time you were growing in my womb.

Love, Mama

My pumpkin

Dear Baby,

I honestly thought we'd be able to take you to the pumpkin patch this year. I was looking forward to tiny baby pictures of you in a pumpkin patch. I guess this will have to do. We still thought of you all day as we felt you looked remarkably like a pumpkin. What fun we will have during your birthday season. It's such a fun time of year, and I am so excited to have a baby now. I've enjoyed my two summer babies. But there is just something magical about carving pumpkins, and corn maizes and falling leaves. I am so excited to give you this kind of a birthday sweet girl. I'm pretty sure, you will develop the nickname "pumpkin".

Love, Mama