Saying Goodbye to the belly

Dear Baby,

I just realized that today is the very last day I will ever be pregnant again. That is a bittersweet thought. It's been quite difficult this time around, and keeping you in for so long has had it's challenges. But when I think that I will never mold my hand to the shape of my round belly again it makes me a little....sad.

But the sadness is overridden by the fact that this is also the very last day that I will ever wonder what your sweet angel face looks like, or if you'll have your daddy's eyelashes. You see Olivia, it is the very last day that I will ever NOT know what life is like without you in it.

My sweet sweet baby love, how I have loved carrying you inside me. I have cherished every movement, kick, and hiccup. I have grown so in love with you already and I've never even met you. And even though I will miss the feel of you kicking my ribcage at an appropriate time in a movie or song, as if we share our own private little joke, I know that I will love far more to smell your sweet breath and kiss your precious cheeks.

So goodbye round belly. Goodbye waddle. Goodbye cute bump beneath my shirt. I want my baby girl instead!

Love forever and ever,

Mama

A little belly painting

Dear Baby,

It's a full moon out tonight. They say babies are born during full moons because of the moon's gravitational pull. So we've been waiting, but while we were waiting we got bored. So we decided to make the big heaping mass that is my belly a little more festive looking. This is what we came up with. Hey, don't persecute us... you're taking your sweet time. What else were we supposed to do?

Love,
Mama

The big wait

Dear Baby,

There are just 4 days until you arrive on the planet. I have to say, these might just be the longest 4 days of my life. I am just crawling out of my skin in anticipation. I'm too big to do anything fun to pass the time. I get winded just walking to get the mail. There is no position that is comfortable to sleep in. And you have decided to make my tailbone your permanent residence, which I have to say makes you a big pain in the butt :)

Ofcourse, occasionally you decide to leave my tailbone and to plant yourself in my ribcage- equally as fun. Sometimes you take your little toes and wrinkle them against the side of my ribs. It feels like a kind of hurt/tickle that I can't explain. And I'm almost positive that when you come out, we will see you wrinkle your toes in that same little way and a part of me will have that phantom pain in my ribcage.

I have now officially become 39 weeks pregnant, and you hold the record my dear for the longest amount of time I have ever been pregnant. Elijah was born when I was exactly 39 weeks, you have exceeded him. And to think, we were so afraid you would come dangerously early. You continue to amaze me as your growth has also exceeded all expectations. My stomach is the biggest it's EVER been. Just yesterday I had to adjust the seat in the car so I could drive. I had driven the DAY BEFORE. It's amazing that you grew that much in a day.

I am trying to take in the last few days that I will ever be pregnant. I hold my belly every chance I get, though now it stretches the length of my arms.I am trying to remember every kick, every movement. I am cuddling you on the outside until I can cuddle you on the inside.

Just some thoughts about you my love, and our last few days together just you and me. I will always remember this pregnancy. It's been one of the most challenging roller coaster rides ever but it's also been amazing having this time to bond with you. I know how excited I am for you to come out of me, but I also know that all-too-soon you will be sitting in my lap, and I will miss the time you were growing in my womb.

Love, Mama

My pumpkin

Dear Baby,

I honestly thought we'd be able to take you to the pumpkin patch this year. I was looking forward to tiny baby pictures of you in a pumpkin patch. I guess this will have to do. We still thought of you all day as we felt you looked remarkably like a pumpkin. What fun we will have during your birthday season. It's such a fun time of year, and I am so excited to have a baby now. I've enjoyed my two summer babies. But there is just something magical about carving pumpkins, and corn maizes and falling leaves. I am so excited to give you this kind of a birthday sweet girl. I'm pretty sure, you will develop the nickname "pumpkin".

Love, Mama

The human incubator

Dear Baby,

We hit 37 weeks today! Can you believe it? I honestly never dreamed we would make it. Ofcourse I've had to cancel every appointment, limit my shopping trips, live in my pajamas and rely solely on your Grandma for help. But, we did it. I feel a bit like a human incubator now. All I can do is sit and let you bake. But, I guess that's my job so I am doing it to the best of my ability.

I am so big now, it really is a 7th wonder of the world to look at. I have blown past how big I was with both of your brothers and have entered entirely new territory. It's crazy really. Not one shirt fits, and going places I have to hold the bottom of my shirt down just to keep my bare belly from being exposed. I am really quite a sight to see.

Still wondering if you'll be a 10-10-10 baby. I know your grandma's birthday is tomorrow and she doesn't mind sharing it with you either. When will you come baby? Only the Lord knows. But it feels so wonderful to know we have gone past the danger period and are in the safezone as far as your health goes. We are so blessed this time around.

And now, we wait.........
Come out soon baby!

Love,
Mama

The Halloween Baby

Dear Baby,

Today they told me your scheduled C-section is for October 26th. I about fell over. That seems like an eternity. I know it's only 3 weeks away, but seriously 3 weeks? I am thinking about what your birthdays will be like. I'm thinking about all the fall-themed fun we can have throwing your birthday parties. You can have caramel apples and candy corn cupcakes. But I am really hoping that you come just a little bit earlier, because I don't want you to have a Halloween themed birthday every year. I guess I just feel like it takes away from your special day. I know I really don't have control over that. Truth be told, it has a lot to do with the fact that my doctor is going on vacation for 3 weeks and this is when she will get around to doing it.

It's hard to think that your birthdays for the whole rest of your life will be determined based on the fact that my doctor went to Hawaii. It kind of, perturbs me. Hopefully, if you're anything like what I think you're like, you are going to make your grand entrance on a day when nobody expects. I have this sneaking suspicion that you are going to have to be original, not just ANY day will do. It will have to be the day when YOU want to come. Truthfully, I am HOPING you'll be a diva like that.

But until then, I am enjoying the cool fall breeze and the view of leaves changing. I'm thinking about all the pumpkins we will carve and the hayrides we will be on together. Baby doll, my little "pumpkin" I am so thrilled that you are an October baby!

Love,
Mama

Nesting

Dear Baby,

It's 3 1/2 weeks until your due date. I don't know what that means exactly, but what it has meant for me is full throttle nesting mode. Really, it makes no sense because my stomach is so big (actually much bigger now than I was with either one of your brothers full term). How in the world do I find the energy? I'm not sure. But this week has been full of projects and things I have put off for approximately 9 months.

First I re-organized the boys room, then I took on mine. I've taken out the bassinet and cleaned that thoroughly. Every room in this house has been cleaned, organized and re-cleaned. Just last night I found myself on my hands and knees scrubbing the bathroom floor furiously. I just keep thinking "well I'm not going to have time for this when the baby gets here". How do I find the energy? How do I find the strength? I really couldn't tell you. I think it's just because I have nothing better to do than twiddle my thumbs and anticipate your arrival.

One thing is for sure. You will be coming home to a very clean house. Let's just hope it's sooner rather than later.

Love,
Mama